Friday, August 5

sete variedades de treta

This final week of Big Blogger... what a whirlwind! Golly. I'm exhausted. And I'm supposed to be translating something REALLY boring this week. So it was a welcome distraction. And I'd better do it today. Cos this girl doesn't like REAL work. She likes writing twaddle and peddling it to the blogosphere. I think we could safely call it "wibble".

So let me take this as an opportunity to give you "The Guided Tour To Vit 'n' Madge Stylee Wibble"

seven chickens

Type 1. The Half Truth Approach. The Seven Chicken Women. Wibble based on real stones somewhere in the world, I dunno where, maybe in Portugal, maybe in Outer Mongolia. However the bit about the Portuguese being desperately socially aspirational and their taste for chicken was entirely true.


2. The Desperate Internet Search for something to do with Seven and Portugal Approach. Seven Groans. Thankfully yielded true, though legendary, if that's possible (true AND legendary?), results. Even the "photograph" was genuine.

jane austens arse

3. Iconoclastic Rant against Great Literary Hero in Contemporary History After Very Helpful Email From Parents Suggesting Some "Seven" Topics Approach. Seven Years, Seven Days. Well, how they remember these little tiny quotes from bloomin' Jane Austen books is a mystery to me, but I am very grateful for the mystery.

seven brides

4. The Cheese Approach. Seven Brides, Seven Brothers. Find something really cheesey and take the piss out of it. Easy.

vault runes

5. Overdose on Coffee and Small Children and Stress And Invent Something Extremely Silly Approach. Seven Symbols. Well, all I can say is, turn around so you've got your back to the screen, bend over and look through your legs. Read what it says. :)


6. The O-Crap I can't think of a Thing, Draw A Silly Picture and Make Up Some Old Twonk as You Write It Based on the Picture. Seven Flames. So, I have a Bulgarian cleaning lady. And she went on holiday yesterday. That much was true.


7. The Hopeless Nice Person Underneath the Awful Liar Approach. Seven Varieties of Crap. I just can't tell complete fibs for long (we all remember the Quarsan suing Zoë debacle don't we?.... half an hour of emails of solidarity to Zoë and I couldn't take it any more and came clean. Still, it was bloody funny...but I'm still making it up to Keith)... so I have to come clean so that no-one is in any doubt that the Seven Chicken Women of Migalha (Migalha means Crumb) do not in any way exist and that the runes in Marwood are just a good excuse for me to put rude words on the screen upside down.


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