Hypothetically speaking, of course.

Dear Bill Oddie & co.

I'm faced with a dilemma and felt that you might be best placed to help me resolve it.

What would you do, hypothetically speaking, if you were to discover a bird in your garden believed to have long been extinct? What would, hypothetically speaking, your reaction be and who, hypothetically speaking, would be the best people to get in touch with about such a find?

In a completely unrelated issue, what is the best way to treat a large flightless bird? Are they dangerous and is cooked bacon likely to be healthy for them?

As a further aside, do you know any famous gardners who could help me find a Tambalacoque (or dodo tree) for my garden?

Thank you! Your help in these matters is most appreciated.