IT

(I'm sorry sorry sorry...I'm trying to pack up my uni room ready to move out at the end of the week, I'll keep from now on, honest! Sorry sorry sorry)

Dear Bob, (I can call you bob can't I? It may not be your name, but it is a good name, and one that I am very fond of.)

I feel that I would be particulary suited to looking after your resident It. Considering that it is 13ft tall, and I'm only 5ft4, I would probably be able to run between it's legs as a means of escape if it tried to eat me.

I have had some experience with Its of a different nature, and believe they can be easily distracted by the cry of "Look, over there, a lobster!" They always fall for the lobster.

If I am lucky enough to be the successful aplicant for this job, I will introduced a new feeding regime for the It, comprised of five children. Its are particularly fond of five children, and after a successful feeding have been known to grant wishes.

Its are also very vain, and it's agression may be a way of complaining about the fact that he hasn't had a pedicure recently.

Any further comments or questions, please contact me. I can currently be found at:

The Magical Beach
Through the Greenhouse
Somewhere in England.

Thank You.