i deserve it.
26 June, 2005.
I am sending you my application for a job within your team at Framley Zoo, where I read with great interest that you require an It Assistant.
I have previously dealt with Its and am currently the owner of 4 of the creatures. I am aware of their dangerous habits as well as their rather peculiar eating preferences. Two of mine won't touch mushrooms, the other two won't eat eggs, whereas one has eaten most of the nearby zoo!
My extensive knowledge of Its proves that I am the ideal candidate for the job. I am aware that they can often be extremely dangerous, although this only happens every 28 days and lasts up to a week, maximum. One of mine has managed to demolish a bed, two others have wrecked a large chest of drawers each and the fourth, and the eldest is slowly getting it's way through my cast-iron bed.
I am available for interview immediately and look forward to hearing from you in the very near future.
Attached: Curriculum Vitae
Letters of recommendation.
A death-threat: Give me the job or else.