Task 6: Festival Of Blog.
Heavens! What's all that shouting, coming from the red-faced man on the orange crate with the megaphone in his hand? Why, it's our very own Speakers Corner, hosted by the political bloggers! This has certainly drawn a large and attentive crowd. Let's move a little closer, and find out what the red-faced man is shouting about. An end to world poverty? Social justice? Human rights? Global warming?
"This morning, Glenn Reynolds linked to an article by Andrew Sullivan, which examines James Lilek's reaction to Perry De Havilland's critique of Robert Fisk. Meanwhile, Stephen Pollard answers Melanie Phillips by quoting Natalie Solent's reply to Nick Barlow, who..."
Er... right on! Keep kicking over the statues, political bloggers!
Over to our left, we have the Dance Tent, hosted by the MP3 bloggers. What "phat tunes" are they "dropping" in there, I wonder? Let's ask the slightly grumpy looking man in the corner, busily stroking his goatee.
Well! Who knew that minimalist Patagonian electroclash was so popular? Good work there, MP3 bloggers! Put the needle on the record, and pump up the jam!
Over to our right, there's a smaller looking tent, shrouded in darkness, whose walls appear to be wobbling all over the place. What's going on in there, then? Shall we lift the flap and take a peek?
Goodness gracious! Lick my quivering quim, it's the Orgy Tent, hosted by the sex-bloggers. Ouch! Who did that? Making our excuses, let's move swiftly on.
Ah, here's the Sports Arena, where a group of rather officious-looking bloggers with clipboards and calculators are attempting to host the Most Popular Blogger Ever In The History Of Blogging contest. Unfortunately, they're being picketed by the anarcho-syndicalist collectivist bloggers, who are holding up placards saying "Down With Elitism!", and chanting "We just do what we do! And if anyone else happens to like it, that's a bonus!" Something tells me they're going to be at it all night. Much like the sex-bloggers, in fact.
Our tour continues past the Livejournal Field (where thousands of glum-looking teenagers dressed in black are standing on their own and mumbling to themselves), past the tug-of-war race (where Movable Type are taking on Blogger), past the Practical Trackbacking workshop, the lottery stall (sponsored by Technorati), the photo-booth (sponsored by Flickr), the legal advice drop-in centre ("What to do if you've been Dooced") and the official merchandising stand (where Tom Coates will be signing photos at 5pm sharp)... and ends on a solemn note, as we stand in reverent silence in front of the Tomb Of The Anonymous Hiating Blogger, and offer our prayers for a swift return.
All that remains is for us to sign the official comments book ("Woo! You rock!"), as provided by the lovely folks at Haloscan. Oh dear, it looks as if the pages have already been filled up by adverts for Generic Viagra. Well, no matter. Let the festival continue! Blog pride!
This is Mike, live at the International Festival Of Blog, returning you to the Big Blogger house.