Friday, July 1

A Great British Game

The concept.

As one wanders around town aimlessly following the wife from shoe shop to shoe shop, then Top Shop, Debenhams, Monsoon, House of Fraser, Littlewoods, BHS, M&S, then back to a shoe shop, then Knickerbox, Sock Shop, Boots, Woolworths, Index, TK Maxx, then shoe shop to shoe shop, then Top Shop, Debenhams, Monsoon, House of Fraser, Littlewoods, BHS, M&S, then back to a shoe shop, then Knickerbox, Sock Shop, Boots, Woolworths, Index, TK Maxx, and so on ad infenitum one can get involved with the exciting new sport that is sweeping the country. It offers many hours of innocent fun and helps to increase ones powers of observation, plus add that ever needed sparkle back into ones sex life!

Its a totally British Game which includes, for the first times, those Chav's, slappers, mingers, tarts, and ho's that have never ever before become involved in an active sport. Even whilst at school these 'contestants' could be found behind the bike sheds having a crafty fag and exploring their burgeoning sexuality with the Boys from the Comp down the road.


Yes its:

THONG SNOOKER.

Rules and Regulations.

1. Scores can only be accrued by the actual seeing of the thong dissapering down the ‘crack’

2. The ‘crack’ has to be inadvertantly on show, such as when the young lovely in question is bending down to tie a shoelace, slap little Romeo behind the legs, or vomiting up the 20 Bacardi Breezers they have just necked down the local pub. (Examples for illustration only)

3. Other coloured knickers, bloomers, pants and drawers peeping out of the top of low slung trackies do not count.

4. When ‘potting’ the thong down the crack all ‘cue’s’ must be safely and securley holstered, failure to do so will incrue a 6 months prison sentence for indecent exposure.

5. Any 'spotting' of a thong worn by Peter Stringfellow or any of his many many imitators on British and foreign beaches deems the game to be invalid and you will lose your 'deposit'.


Scoring:

As with the tradition game scoring is based upon ‘potting’ a colour, here scores are made by ‘spotting’ a colour, within the rules.

The scoring schedule is as follows.

For a Black thong on show you score 7 points,
6 for a Pink,
5 for a Blue,
4 for a Brown,
3 for a Green
2 for a Yellow and
1 for a Red.

A white is a false shot so it’s minus 4.


Possible venus:
Clothing shops and shoe shops, University Campuses, Pubs, Parks and Beaches. The Street.




Thong snooker Posted by Picasa
So for example here you would score a 7 for the black, 1 for the red, minus 4 for the white and no score for the Orange. Total score 4. and so on.
The aim of the game is to get the highest score possible before:
A: Your wife catches you looking and you get a slap, or
B: You get caught by the police and charged with being a dirty bastard, which I believe is still on the statutes. (This of course, only happens once you have stopped playing the amatuer game and have progressed to the higher, more 'professional' levels of Thong Snooker).
The Motto: Play Hard, Play Well - Get Spotting!
Official Anthem:
WhoaUh alright Uh whoa yeahOohWhoa
(Like it when the beat goes da na da na)
(Baby make your booty go da na da na)
(Girl I know you wanna show da na da na)
Baby
(That thong th thong thong thong)
(I like it when the beat goes da na da na)
(Baby make your booty go da na da na)
(Girl I know you wanna show da na da na)
(That thong th thong thong thong)

1 Comments:

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11:10 PM  

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