Task 6: Island frivolities

If I were to create a festival, it’d be called The Festival of Choice.

I would invite all the people in the world who preach that young people should abstain from sex before marriage. Alongside them would be the right-wingers who prevent women from having the right to choose. They would share an invitation with the bible-bashers who think that condoms are against God’s way. There would also be room for those who think that Homosexuality is a sin; that those with HIV ‘deserve’ it; and that rape isn’t a hate crime.

There wouldn’t be any music at this festival: the constant morbid propagandising of the attendees would be loud enough to fill the venue with atmosphere. Nor would there be any bands, alcohol, drugs or sunshine: they wouldn’t know what to do when faced with fun, since their lives are spent spreading vicious lies that affect thousands of lives. And there most certainly wouldn’t be any sex at this festival – we wouldn’t want these people to replicate, so fornication of any sort would be banned, punishable with these people's favourite method - public hanging.

This festival would be held on an artificial island, specially built for the occasion and made to hold up to 10 million of these ideologically unsound demented ignorant human beings. It would be made to appeal to them to get as many as possible to come: there would be free guns, pictures of aborted foetus’s, and a church every fifty feet so that they could confess their sins regularly.

The island would be packed, every inch filled with the despicable, the righteous, and the dogmatic. And once they were all there, when they were all settled, when they were relaxed and preaching their vicious ideas and enforcing their hegemony, then I would press my magic festival button, and the island would sink into the sea, with all of them with it. And the rest of us would then be free to live without fear, without oppression, and without hate.

[Incognito for next few days, hence rushing to get this in before deadline on Friday. Next one will be funny. I hope]