Hullo I am JonnyB
Hullo I am JonnyB.
I am here because someone nominated me. I am not really sure what to expect, because I don't watch too much telly except Dr Who and University Challenge and Channel 4 News and Eggheads. I know these things always have an agenda and I hope I have not been picked because I am the one that people will want to laugh at and make look foolish.
In my suitcase I have lots of pants. There is nothing better than having a fresh pair of pants to put on. At home I sometimes wear three pairs a day. I also have Honey Bear and Mr Mitt, with whom (grammar) I share my bed. As ever, I am wearing trousers and a cool T-shirt. I wear cool T-shirts because they make me believe that I am younger and more trendy than I am and not just a fat bloke in a T-shirt that he
thinks is cool, sweating and crying whilst with desperation he struggles with the fingertips of his soul to hang on to the last grim tatters of his youth as his life spirals down the shitty eternal plughole of missed opportunities and wasted talent.
In the house I will be just me. I am a good cook and will prepare rabbit pie for everybody, especially the ladies, who I would like to get to know better (nb that is all of you to start off with I haven't chosen which one will be my 'special' one yet.) I am an excellent musician and will sing and play the guitar and piano to you all, most of the time. I will also bring the quality of diplomacy which will be
essential as the other contestants are all slappers, egotists, wannabes, oddballs or screaming queens.
My prize is a signed copy of the Douglas Adams book 'The Restaurant at the End of the Universe'. Why? Well, it was a big influence on me when it first came out. And it's also been living on my famous secret Scooby Doo bookcase so it has historical value. And I have about 3 copies. And I got another one free with the paper the other day, which would be quite light to post.
Please note that it's not actually Douglas Adams that has signed the book, it will be me.
I hope you will like me.