Task 9: fancy dress party...
I'll be coming as a composite of "Portugalness": A Fadista wearing a bata with a large Galo de Barcelos brooch to be overly proud of.
I'm going to come and sing/wail some fado into each and every house member's ear until they like it, or say that they understand why the Portuguese love it so. (LB, I'll be requiring a couple of fado musicians, a guitarrist and another guitarrist, they probably have proper names, but hey, queen of bullshit here don't know 'em).
Then I'll take advantage of the fact I'm wearing my Bata (housecoat) to tidy up a bit, and clean that kitchen... have you SEEN the state of it? Honestly, you English (and you can tell me you're British until you're blue in the face.... to me you're ENGLISH!).
After the place is PROPERLY clean and I've done all your laundry and ironed it including all the tea towels and all your knickers and tights then I may rejoin the party to regale you with hilarious stories of revolutions from the past... and the future (if I have anything to do with it).
All this I will do with a Portuguese accent, and occasionally I shall slip into Portuguese as if by accident so that everyone can hear that Portuguese is NOT Spanish, but is in fact a highly superior language!
And by the end of the evening you will have forgotten that I'm British through and through and will think of me as an exotic little thing, albeit with a faint smell of grilled sardines and chouriço.