I read you job advertisement with interest. I am very keen on IT as I spend most of my waking hours in front of my pc. I know almost everything there is to know about computers and I'm sure I am the right person for the job. I do have a slight vision impairment, but these days computers are well adapted to suit my needs as I can make the screen sizes much larger.
I'm thrilled to see a job advertised in Framley Zoo that must be an indoors job away from animals, as I love to see animals, but I am horribly (and I mean HORRIBLY) allergic to any fur, feathers or scales. If I step within two feet of any animal I puff up like a blowfish (indeed, doctors have told me in the past that I would be great value if I was actually food (really, what a thought) since my body weight and density acutally double when in my anaphylactic state... I'm quite an oddity).
Please find enclosed my CV and my reference from the Dungeons and Dragons Society where I've worked since I left school. I am keen to broaden my horizons.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely and affectionately yours
love and kisses
Vitriolica Webb. (please see attached photograph)