In which Dr. Rob turns over a new leaf

It’s still quite early and DR Rob is to be seen feverishly scribbling away in the lightening gloom. He has set himself the task of writing ‘I must not wibble’ 50, 000 times before breakfast. The very act of writing this agonising sentence reminds him of when he was a child at school and he was set 1,000 ‘lines’, by his teacher as he could not spell the word ‘because’. Nowadays, our enlightened teachers would have probably put this down to a slight case of dyslexia, but then it was becuse they thought you were bloody stupid.

Dr. Rob is bloody grateful that he wasn’t evicted and has resolved to turn over a new leaf. He is going to be kind and courteous to all his housemates, and will take into consideration that 20 per cent of readers who can’t stand a word he writes – a bit like Jeffery Archer.

He knows that this will be difficult and will probably mean having a period of cold (pressed soya extract, egg whites and flour) turkey as he weans himself of this blogging monkey that has taken root on his shoulder. It’s a jones he can do with out.

He puts down his pen, for a while and looks reflectively out of the sliding doors, newly smeared with some ungent of some sort. He is feeling good, a newfound peace has fallen upon him, no longer would he be the purveyor of wibble, the butt of the in jokes, the pariah of the post, he would just be Dr. Rob once again, immersed in his books, perhaps writing an important paper on the psychological effects of Cillit Bang and sensory deprivation, yes this could get his career back on the road.

He wanders out into the garden, the 50,000 lines forgotten for a second, his task as yet unfinished. He had noticed something, flashing and glistening in the slight breeze. No it wasn’t a pair of NML’s sequined thongs (god how they must chafe), it was something else.

It looked like a large leaf. ‘Where did that come from’ Dr Rob wonders. He looked again, yes it was a large leaf and it had something written on it. He peered at it. On the leaf, in large letters, was written ‘turn me over’.

Dr Rob slowly turned the leaf over; perhaps it was new instructions from BB.

Dr Rob gasped ‘Gasp’

On the underside of the leaf were written the following words.

Keep on bloggin’
Keep on writin’
One fine day you’re gonna be the one
To make them understand
Oh yeah you're gonna be the man
Hey hey hey
Everyone is talkin’ about me
Makes me feel so bad
Hey hey hey
Everyone is laughing at or with me
Makes me feel so sad

Keep on bloggin’
Hey hey All right!
Keep on bloggin’
Bloggin’ all them words
One fine day you’re gonna be the one
To make them understand
Oh yeah you're gonna be the man

Dr. Rob looked around astounded, 10 seconds later the leaf self destructed in his hands and he was left with nothing more than a hand full of smoke.

'Bloody hell' he thought, that must be a sign. He ran back to the room picked up his lines and laughing maniacally tore them up into a million pieces and jigged around the house amongst the ensuing confetti storm.

Dr. Rob, had surely turned over a new leaf!