I Win I Win I WINNNNNN!

The BBC
London
WC1 L00

Dear Dr. Rob

Thank you so much for your letter. I am most interested to hear about the possible sighting of a Dodo as I have had my suspicions for a long time that they might be about. You see, I have this theory that they are migratory birds that need to move to their traditional feeding grounds here in the U.K. The difficulty is, of course, is that they are flightless and they have to walk. I have calculated, with no help from anyone else, all by myself you understand, I am not plagiarising here, because I am a top ornithologist, that if they left Mauritius sometime in the 17th Century, then they would have been in your vicinity sometime last Thursday, and of course they would have been ravenous, that’s why the bacon sandwich was so tempting.

I would of course be most interested in coming to observe the birds around your house, as I have heard that they all have ‘beautiful plumage’. And are all quite easy to get an eyeful of or so I’ve heard.

I am glad that you liked the Goodies, my favourite part was doing the ‘Blood Donor’ sketch, and you remember that one? The bit when I say ‘my arms empty!’ Ha Ha. Tim Dim But Nice wrote that one.

Anyway I’ll leave you now as I have some tits to photograph, that Kate Humbles quite obliging you know.

Heres something that’ll make you laugh – flippin eck!

Yours sincerely



William (Bill) Oddie