Thursday, June 30

30 seconds before it all happened....

Behind the shed a huge silverball thing suddenly appears out of the gloaming, there is a slight flashing and groaning sound and then the unmistakable sound of a fart.

'Pardon Me', says Dr. Rob politely to nobody in particular. Dr. Rob is looking dapper and his usually healthy shade of Pink; he admires himself in the silverball thing he had just stepped out of, checking his Open University issue suit and paisley cravat. He smoothes himself down and brushes a stray narqexcitlky hair from his collar. The hair drifts away into the shrubbery where it is eaten by an ant. The DNA from the narqexcitlky hair immediately mutates the ant which starts to….but that’s another story.

Dr. Rob takes a small device from his pocket and presses the red button, the slivery ball thing disappeared in a puff of smoke, he peered around the side of the shed. Gordon had appeared on the patio, through the broken doors. Dr Rob stepped out into the Garden and ambled towards him, Gordon fumbled with his fly, pulled out his member and sent a jet of golden Urine over into the garden in a twinkling golden arch. He hooted a hoot of joy.

Gordon ‘me mate’ Dr Rob called, ‘hey Dr Rob’ he called tucking his member away in to his tweed underpants. ‘Come in and enjoy I’m on my second’, he called with a lascivious wink. And with no hint of ‘déjà vu’ wiped his hands on his trousers and ambled back inside the house.

Dr Rob strolled into the house, the housemates were all busy at one thing or another, he gave the Smeg fridge a tap of familiarity on its front door, walked to his favourite chair, poured himself a Cillit Bang Slammer, chucked it down his throat, put his feet up and sighed a sigh.

‘All was well’, he thought, ‘all was well….’


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